L o v e . f i n d i n g s

Sometimes when you are in love.. or rather when love is in you, when it over takes all you have and you see no other but that one person. That same one person sits in your head all day- when you wake, when you step, when you dream. When every breath is being bound with that one person in your heart. Soon it begins to gain monotonous momentum but you’re so lost in it, you can’t even tell. When you can presumably begin to tell is when it all comes crashing down. Down, down... too much of a fall. Never like before, inducing pain slowly causing a breakdown of hydraulic forces. Drowning with thoughts, in an ocean so vast of instincts, perceptions and delusions.

Perceptions… the things I see, are they really what they are?

When you’re inebriated by love, you see nothing else, and believe the best of what a belief can be. It’s something so special. It’s food for the heart- Intoxicating, warm and highly invigorating. Analogous to a dollop of hot chocolate that stays on your tongue, slowly melting until all your senses are aroused, leaving the flavour to last forever.

Just as too much chocolate is bad for your bod, this imaginary love fluid your heart has been downing is no good if one fine day you wake to reality. However, the recipe for it is seasonal.

Love Fluid

Ingredients: A handful of unknown smiles with raison d'être
Perception in felicity- to taste.

Method: Cream the mixture slowly until smooth in texture, close eyes, dip finger in batter, lick, smile, and wonder why.

This love fluid that I have been feeding on, in simple decoded diction, is just an image crafted by one’s self. It’s an effortless mental picture of the person that resides in your head. It may or may not be in sync with the person. Usually it’s your own belief; it’s an image that you create for that one soul, who you limitlessly infuse with love.

It tastes quite depressing when your bubble suddenly bursts to reality; because you then realize how lost in love you are and that you’ve been loving that image you’ve created by unconsciously forgetting the veracity of the person you began to love. The image remains the same; rain, sun or snow; nothing can overpower this notion in your head.

The person then just becomes an entity, an entity that just gave the Utopian picture in your head life- real existence. Enthralling you from within, making you want to embrace every little detail so that you can never feel devoid of that aura created by that person image.

Did I love the wrong person? Was it really him that I loved?